I just saw “Eat, Pray, Love.” Originally I intended to do a review of it, but I think instead I am going to talk about the things it made me think about (and maybe I’ll review it later, perhaps after I’ve read the book). I have to say that I have heard from a number of people that it wasn’t their cup of tea, and I can definitely see why. One reviewer, the smarmy guy on the NYC taxi cab news show, said that Julia Roberts’ Liz is suffering from “rich lady problems” (that’s paraphrasing), but I completely disagree. I do see how many people would have trouble understanding what the character is going through; in fact, I almost emailed a younger friend of mine to tell him not to bother seeing it because I was certain he couldn’t relate to it at all. But for me, the movie (and, I am guessing, the book) touched on SO many things I am dealing with and have been dealing with in the past 18 months that it was downright cathartic to see “Eat, Pray, Love.” And here is what I took away from it.
I have an amazing life. I have so much to be grateful for. I am so very, very lucky and blessed.
If someone had told me in April of 2009 (or June or August or November), or maybe even a few nights in the last seven months, that I would be saying those words, I would have seriously questioned his/her sanity. My life has definitely undergone some remarkably significant changes in the relatively recent past, and I would be lying through my fingertips if I didn’t tell you there were many times in there when I was not at all sure I could live through those changes. Literally. They say that that which does not kill us makes us stronger, and I am the absolute living proof that that is often, in fact, the case. What I went through almost killed me (emotionally, spiritually, and physically), but the woman I am today- the person I am today- is so much stronger and better and healthier and happier than the woman who existed before all of this pain came my way. And the truly exciting part is that I’m not even close to done growing yet! I have so much more to look forward to; I’m really just at the start of my journey, having come out the other side of these changes. And the possibilities are limitless! I can go anywhere (soon), I can do almost anything I want to… the only barriers to my happiness and success are the ones I choose to accept and place in my own way, and I am here to tell you that I am DONE with that!
Some of the changes that happened in my recent past were not my choice, and I have to say that for a long time I would gladly have chosen to go back to the way things were. But I have gradually come to recognize that the place in my life I am now is so much better not only than where I was but even where I could be if those changes hadn’t occurred. Some of you reading this are smiling, no doubt; I know many of you have told me these same things, but as you well know- you can’t tell me anything. ;) Seriously, I would not be in this sound, solid, sane place without all of you. You have listened to me cry, you have called me on a daily basis, you have put up with my snail-paced learning process, you have tolerated my clinginess and my isolation, you have reminded me that I can fall in love again, you have encouraged me when I am doing well and held me up when I wasn’t. I’m sure all of you know that “Footprints in the Sand” poem/story/allegory, but in *my* story it is all of you who have carried me when I was unable to walk; it was your footprints on the beach of my life.
It all begins with being mindful and grateful.
Some of what I lost, I lost because I wasn’t mindful of the good things in my life (even though there were better things ahead); this, too, I am done with. I am going to try to be grateful for at least one good thing in my life every day, and I am going to be mindful and acknowledging of even the little things that have led me to this unexpectedly joyful place in my life. I am not foolish enough to believe that there isn’t still struggle ahead, and that I won’t have to work not to fall into my old, easy habits of just paddling along. But, as Don Miguel Ruiz says in The Four Agreements, “Always do your best.” If I am always doing my best (notice the absence of the word “try” there, by the way), then even when my best isn’t of the highest caliber or doesn’t quite get me where I’d like to be going, I can be content knowing that it was, in fact, the best I could do right then. And maybe later on, my best will be a little better for having accepted that.
As I like to do with these blogs, I’m turning this back around on you, my friends and readers. Tell me what you’re grateful for, tell me what you’re mindful of, tell me what you’d like to change in order to be more appreciative and aware. I will end this by telling you that today I am grateful for a good movie that helped me to focus my thoughts and feelings in such a positive and progressive way.
I'm grateful for finding a wonderful man who I will marry in a very short period of time. Even though I am still going through a lot in my life and things aren't great, I'm grateful for the lessons I am learning by going through it all. I'm grateful for the creativity that I possess and that I can, although it is going to be a long and difficult journey, try to make a living doing something that I love. Last, but certainly not least, I am grateful for my wonderful friends who are always there for me. Yeah, kind of sappy today. :)
ReplyDelete"It all begins with being mindful and grateful"
ReplyDeleteNever truer words have been spoken. Being mindful and being grateful go hand in hand. I think thats the problem in this world. There are those who are truly kind, and mindful and grateful and try to give to others by just being. Then there are those with a sense of entitlement and ignorance. Those who believe they can bring everyone else down, but we must remember to not let them.
You and I Wendy I know had rough times, and had several years where we weren't as close as we had been before. Those were dark times. Times of another journey, a much darker one for me than the one I'm on now. One that I didn't know how to come out of. I truly don't know exactly what that breaking point was in my life until I was so far past it, but something changed and like you, light came from dark.
You're an inspiration, and a true friend, and I'm so blessed to have the years we did, and to have the years ahead building our friendship.
Also? I'm not very good with words or, you know, spelling.... ;)
@Jenn- I think this kind of a post kind of inspires and encourages sappiness, and I wholeheartedly support your sapitude. ;) I am very glad, very grateful to see you having reached this stage in your life after your long struggle, and though I know there are still battles to be fought I also know that you have the strength, the faith, and the love to win the war. :)
ReplyDelete@Heath- Your spelling and words are wonderful, as is your ongoing ability to make me CRY! Ha ha... when I look at the journey our friendship has taken, I believe in second chances. 'nuff said (mostly because I can't type and cry :).
First, so I don't forget, there's a typo: "saying those words" not "word."
ReplyDeleteI am so very proud of you for finding the strength in the past few months to take the necessary steps to get to this stronger, healthier, happier amazing person you are now! Of course I already thought you were amazing, you're just even more so now... That made sense in my head.
I listened to the audiobook version of EPL at work a couple of weeks ago (and am looking at picking up a paper copy ASAP) and saw the movie on Wednesday. I loved both the book and the movie. Obviously some things had to be altered &/or left out or it would have been an 8 hour movie, but the spirit of it was kept in tact.
I am definitely at a point in my life where I need to make a change and take a leap of faith to do so. To those naysayers who claim Liz is a poor little rich girl, I say yes, she was fortunate enough to have the financial means and career to make such a journey possible, but I've known people who have gone on similar spiritual journeys on very little money. It's about figuring out what you need and then finding a way to get it. She needed to find her appetite for life, spiritual and emotional balance, and love, not for another, but for herself. Her experiences and resources led her to choose this particular journey to find these things.
I think her story is inspiring and found it so in both formats.
As to your questions: I am grateful for my family and friends. My mom, for all the annoying mom-habits she has, is an amazing person who has shown me by example that the most important family is the one you create. We have so many wonderful people in our lives that are now considered "family" because my mom was able to see in them people who either needed some family "thing," (a mother, a sister, a confidante, a nana, a shoulder, an ear to listen) or were needed in some way by us. I am so very grateful for Jenny & the kids (and even Derrick even if he did refer to me as his "tennant" the other day *g*) who have filled a hole I didn't even know was there. Those kids show me every day what love is, and Jenny is truly a kindred spirit.
I am mindful of the fact that I take people and things for granted and need to take the time to appreciate them more.
I want/need to change: my priorities, my attitude, my job, my health/lifestyle. I'm slowly working on these things. I am learning to do things to take care of me. I am making a conscious effort to improve my health and shed the excess weight (literal and metaphorical!) I am doing a lot of soul searching to try to figure out what kind of job I want, and how to get it. That one is a big one. I need a job where I can use my brain, I want a job where I can utilize my writing/editing skills, I dream of a job where I can travel and write and somehow get paid for it.
I've been toying with the idea of starting a blog for a while now, and your courage in taking this leap is inspiring me to look at doing the same. I have neglected my artistic and writerly side, and need to find a way to feed it in order to find a better balance within myself.
Wow, that was a long comment huh? Practically a blog post in itself!
*g*
~ Jeanie
I haven't seen the film because I don't think I'm its intended audience. I tend to be more empathetic in life to people who are grateful and mindful than characters in films where the whole film is about them getting to that state; if it's a byproduct of something huge and narratively interesting happening to them, cool, but if it's them actually going around seeking it ... I mean, it *could* be fantastic, but ... I also really don't like watching people eat.
ReplyDeleteI am grateful that my Mom is still here, that I am in reasonably good health and that Los Angeles hasn't fallen into the Pacific yet.
@Jeanie - Thank you! I caught that after I posted, but I'll go back in and change it as soon as I finish posting this. :)
ReplyDeleteI cannot encourage you enough to start blogging! I think without the process of actually putting my thoughts down "on paper," as it were, I would never have come to this post and to recognizing the good place I am in my life, plain and simple. I know most of my blog posts will be "fluffier" than this one, but even writing about what I cook or read organizes my thoughts and brings me to a whole new level of mindfulness.
@Fflewellyn - Did your nom gain an "f" or did I misspell it last time? :) I have to say that I am also not a huge fan of navel-gazing films or books, but I really didn't find this to be that way at all. I will admit that there were definitely some food-pornesque parts of EPL that whetted my foodie appetite (but nowhere near as much as "Julie and Julia" did!), but for the most part Julia Roberts did a really solid job of embodying what I think you and I and so many people (particularly women) of our approximate age go through in our search to find meaning in our lives. The idea that it just comes to you out of the blue, without any work and without any bidding, is a dangerous one and one which I have found leads to the exact kind of complacency that got me to a not-so-great point in my life earlier on. I'm in NO way saying that is where you are- you do a remarkable job of being happy with what you have and recognizing the good things in your life. But I wouldn't avoid the movie for fear it is shallow. :)
I've kept gratitude journals off and on. Most recently, the entries always came back to time spent with my sister or with Will, or learning that I really liked someone who I had barely known and prejudged to be not my kind of person before.
ReplyDeleteToday, I'm grateful for the director of Young People's Performing Company, who not only allowed me to produce a show in her theatre with old and new friends, but who actually directed it herself, which made it a very different experience than the past couple of years where I've acted, directed, and produced. Much more fun, and so lovely to work with her again after all these years.